Written by Cat & Ed
[img_assist|nid=2146|title=|desc=|link=popup|align=left|width=24|height=24]Jump for joy and let it rain popcorn, because BakitWhy.com's resident film dorks are back for their 2nd Annual Oscar Close-Up. You remember their first one, right? Just pretend you do. It was from a year ago. Anyway, without further ado, let's let's turn it over to our resident people with names of three letters or less... Cat & Ed!
Another year of Oscars, another year of the same old same old. Keyword: OLD. The only “new” stuff is the Academy adding five more mediocre movie nominations and an extra host. Worry not, our predictions are at the conclusion of this 2nd Annual Cat & Ed Oscar Close-Up extravaganza, but first we've put together some awards we wish could give out, if we were members of the Academy (just you wait and see!).
And by the way, a note to the higher-ups at BakitWhy.com, next year we want a limo, so we can cover this right.
Let's meet the winners:
CATEGORY: Most Well-Crafted 20-Minute Opener
AND THE WINNER IS: Disney/Pixar’s Up
With no disrespect to the rest of the movie, which was also wonderful, Up’s opening could’ve been its own film. Complemented by one of the most memorable scores in recent memory (you know you were humming it as you walked out of the theater), Up’s oft-talked about opening sequence was storytelling (animated or otherwise) at its finest. Not only that, this love-of-a-lifetime told with few words set up the rest of the movie perfectly.
CATEGORY: Most Visually Stunning Film Featuring the Original Members of The Blue Man Group Yet A Surprising Lack of Plot
AND THE WINNER IS: Avatar
We agreed how much we loved the visuals, how we wouldn’t mind seeing it again, and how terrifically awful the plot is. You’d think with a multi-billion dollar budget (approximately 92,187,169,917.61 pesos, in case you were wondering) they could buy a script. Nonetheless, Ferngully: The Last Rainforest 2.0 meets Dances With Wolves knocked our socks off with its precedent-setting CGI. Kudos, Mr. Cameron. You even knocked off that pesky box-office smash about a doomed ship...
CATEGORY: Best Movie with Lots of Filipinos
AND THE WINNER IS: Brown Soup Thing
The only film on the planet with Manny Pacquiao, HappySlip, Joey Guila, Bernardo Bernardo, and dozens more. Yes, shameless promotion, thank you, BakitWhy.com.
CATEGORY: Best Use of Stereotypes When Finessing One's Way Through Airport Screening
AND THE WINNER IS: George Clooney as Ryan Bingham in Up In The Air
The writing is gold, the film was topical for 2009-10, and even if you don't like Clooney, you have to admit smirky Ryan Bingham was clearly written with him in mind. Which makes the sequence where he explains to Natalie (Anna Kendrick) the most efficient path through the airport all the more too real to handle: "That's racist," Natalie says after one explanation. As Ryan places his shoes in the appropriate bin, he quips, "I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."
CATEGORY: Outstanding Performance In A Non-Speaking Role
AND THE WINNER IS: The blood in Inglourious Basterds
Credit where credit is due, right? Sure Quentin Tarantino probably suggested where the blood should go, but ultimately the haphazard splattering all over a log cabin and spewing recklessly with unbridled passion out of cast members' guts is a performance that took on a life of its own. And with the surprising lack of blood shed in those vampire movies (what were they called again?), the performance meant so much more. Not since the pensive droplets from Dexter's scalpel have we seen such captivating presence by blood.
CATEGORY: Most Visually (and Literally) Square Character
AND THE WINNER IS: Ed Asner as Carl Fredricksen in Up
Though Russell's adorable pudginess made a lot of us want to run out and adopt chubby kids (or feed Girl Scout cookies to the kids we already know), Carl's design is so conscious, you could write a graduate-level thesis on how his outer self corresponds to his inner self and, ultimately, his perspective through those quadrilateral spectacles. Whoa.
CATEGORY: Best non-Up Animated Feature
AND THE WINNER IS: Coraline
Eclipsed by the force that is Disney/Pixar, the eerie stop-motion hit Coraline runs virtually unnoticed in Oscar talk. Of course, we could say that every year about a few dozen films. In any case, it's a meticulously well-done film version of Neil Gaiman's book. Where Up embraces the buoyancy of life's adventures, Coraline manages to creep into your wildest fantasies and showcase the mysterious-- yet alluring-- underside of the world.
And for those keeping score, here are our picks:
Cat wants it to be: The Hurt Locker
Cat thinks it will be: Avatar
Ed wants it to be: Up (or An Education)
Ed thinks it will be: The Hurt Locker
Cat wants it to be: Kathryn Bigelow
Cat thinks it will be: Kathryn Bigelow
Ed wants it to be: Edward J. Mallillin ;)
Ed thinks it will be: Kathryn Bigelow
Cat wants it to be: Colin Firth
Cat thinks it will be: Jeff Bridges
Ed wants it to be: Morgan Freeman
Ed thinks it will be: Jeff Bridges
Cat wants it to be: Carey Mulligan
Cat thinks it will be: Helen Mirren
Ed wants it to be: Sandra Bullock
Ed thinks it will be: Sandra Bullock
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Cat wants it to be: Christoph Waltz
Cat thinks it will be: Christopher Plummer
Ed wants it to be: Stanley Tucci
Ed thinks it will be: Christoph Waltz
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Cat wants it to be: Anna Kendrick
Cat thinks it will be: Mo'Nique
Ed wants it to be: Mo’Nique
Ed thinks it will be: Mo’Nique
Tell us about some of your favorites from 2009! We'll see you again next year for our 3rd Annual Cat & Ed Oscar Close-Up extravaganza!